“Art is here to prove, and to help one bear, the fact that all safety is an illusion.”
Left: Marino Marini, Man on a Horse (1959)
Picasso is a Fake! Believe Me.
I’m wondering about something I’ve heard a lot of people talking about. This isn’t coming from me. I’ve just heard a lot of people talking about Picasso and what he might have been up to. Look at the facts: have you ever seen him make a painting? He stands beside something he says he’s done. But have you ever seen him actually painting? All that coverage and I never have. The press, they try to make it seem like he’s legitimate, but the failing press gets it wrong about me all the time, so why not him? Think about it…if they’re wrong so many times, why should they be telling the truth about Picasso?
I call him Petite Pablo. Petite Pablo Picasso, yes? He’s short, and he’s low energy. How can you expect anything great from a short guy with low energy? And, by the way, how about all those women who he’s treated badly…very badly. Very unfair. I don’t know this for a fact, but everyone seems to be talking about it. So little Petite Pablo gets up in front of all those cameras, trying to take credit for paintings we’ve never actually seen him do. I’ve put a team of investigators on it, to see what’s really going on. We’ll see. No, I never let people know what I’m about to do. Keep `em guessing. I might have a big announcement about this soon, though. How soon? We’ll see, maybe early next week; but my experts are working on this and the answer will be shocking, very disgraceful and very, very shocking, I’ll be honest with you.
And how about Picasso’s connections to the Nazis? Maybe he’s Spanish. He claims he was from there. But then he shows up in France. The Germans take over the city of Paris…and he’s fine! Many people are wondering why. The press, the radio, they’re all asking why this guy was safe and everybody else had to worry? Maybe he’s really German. I don’t know, but it might be a good question to ask. Little Pablo gets along just fine with America’s sworn enemy?? Believe me, if I had been around to make a deal…it’s what I do best…the war might never have happened. But take Little Picasso and his fake paintings. You have to wonder what’s going on when nobody’s watching. But, I promise you, we’ll get to the bottom of this.
Left: Pablo Picasso, Portrait of a Woman in Beret and Robe ‘Quadrillee,’ Marie Therese Walter (1937).
And those women, all those women who lived with him…some so much younger that he was, by the way. Did they ever see him paint? Not once, would be my guess. They were there and the only time paintings ever appeared about them, they were distorted beyond BELIEF! So, maybe he painted them…OK…but he certainly couldn’t draw a straight line. Ugly pictures of very beautiful women. Is that fair? Fake artist, fake art, fake news in a failing EU country about a guy who might have been friends with Hitler. And how about this: the Nazis never banned his work. How else do you explain it?
My guess is his art career will never survive judicial scrutiny, and the law will eventually be able to explain the real story, the one the fake press won’t ever tell you about. But first, I’m putting honest judges in place, and cleaning up a corrupt law enforcement system to make it clear to the American people that I’ve inherited a mess…a MESS, but no more…no more. That’s over and you can sleep well tonight. People are going to know the truth about Petite Pablo, and if I have my way, he’ll be going away for a long time, folks, a long time. And his so-called art works? Maybe the Democrats can hang them in their offices so they can feel better about supporting rampant crime, infestation on our borders, free healthcare, and all those gays trying to order wedding cakes. WIN! MAGA!
(This would be funny if it weren’t so close to the truth. With apologies ;-), and thanks for reading ARTES)
Richard J. Friswell, Managing Editor